Is it real or is it faux? While faux products can be confused with the real thing, it's faux people that I want to talk about. I meet a lot of people not only in my professional life but in my personal life. When I meet them on a professional level, in my mind, I understand that these will be professional contacts. I usually share with them just a bit of personal information to help create a professional and successful relationship in which to work together. Although at times some of these professional connections end up becoming personal friends, that is usually rare for me. In a professional relationship, there is a somewhat clear set of standards and expectations in terms of conducting yourself, conducting business and not involving personal drama in the workplace. You are generally polite to each other, work together to create solutions and know that when it comes to business, anyone can end up anywhere in a company so it's best not to burn bridges if not necessary. It's a somewhat "fake" relationship but in the game of business, it's how the game is played. I can accept that.
When it comes to my personal life, the somewhat clear rules don't seem to exist for me. I tend to be one of those people where, if I like you, I let you know. I show genuine interest in you and exchange real dialogue. I share my experiences, thoughts and goals. I actually enjoy it. I get to be myself without the professional air of stiffness and formality that surrounds my professional relationships. My personal relationships become my close friends and those in my life as close friends know that I value them as friends. Sure there may be times where life gets busy and we don't have as much time to spend together but when we do, we find the time and catch up as though time has not gone by. It's an easy set of rules - be yourself, be genuine.
So now I've talked about professional relationships and close friendships - but what about the "acquaintance". These are people I meet through friends, in school, possibly at workshops, travelling, etc. They are the people that you meet during times where you end up sharing a little bit of your lives together but the truth is, they won't become an active part in your life. What do you do with those people? How much do you share and what do you expect after your experience together has ended? This is where I struggle.
Going back to what I said earlier, if you are an acquaintance I've met on one of my journeys and we've sat and shared life stories together because we found a common viewpoint or interest, I like you. I don't tend to just ramble on with those I don't feel any connection to. If I like you, I'm going to take an interest in you - want to occasionally know what you're up to and that things are going well for you. This usually means I'll send you an occasional e-mail, a card of your birthday or a holiday card...just things to keep up with you. I've ended up turning some acquaintances into close friends though the years. For the genuine acquaintances, I have no problems.
So why did I mention the struggle with acquaintances? My problem comes from the acquaintances that turn out to be manipulators and at times, they are well camouflaged. Usually manipulators can be spotted easily- they are the people that try to get close to you if they feel that it will benefit themselves in some way. Sometimes, they are the loud people that are just looking for an audience. Each have their own signs and I can usually avoid them or prevent myself from falling into their trap. But some manipulators are good and can be deceiving. They are the ones that appear as genuine people who have interest in you as an individual but they have an ulterior motive.
I tend to break the manipulators into two categories...salesmen and schmucks. For the genuine "salesmen," they take an interest in you regardless of whether you support or buy their product. During the entire "courtship" if you will, they act like any normal person trying to get to know you. They will do everything but try to sell you their product because what they are selling are themselves. In exchange, they are hoping that if you buy them, then you buy the product. These, for me, are the more difficult because I believe that when you're trying to sell "yourself", you're also sharing who you are with another person. There are believable elements of the "courtship." Sometimes, I genuinely like the people because I separate them from their product. After all, I reason, everyone has to make a living. Ultimately, you always find out whether they're genuine or not based on what happens after you do or do not buy the product. Although it shouldn't be disappointing when they give you the cold shoulder after the "courship" is over, sometimes it is.
The "schmucks" are the worst kind of people in my opinion. They are the ones that seriously have something wrong in their head - whether they weren't loved as a child, got hurt somewhere along the line or are just bad people. Calling them schmucks in my mind lets them off easy - if it was up to me, they'd be assholes but I just don't want to put that much negative energy out there. They aren't worth any time or energy. They are the ones that manipulate others for their own personal enjoyment. I think everyone has run across a schmuck or two in your lifetime - it's those people where you walk away wondering how they can be so cruel. To me their behavior is usually trying to mask some sort of severe insecurity but I'm not a shrink. Those are the people that I have no problem walking away from although I have to admit that at times, I waste time trying to figure out why they are the way they are.
Through all the various types of relationships in my life, I can usually find my way and identify the different types of people I meet. However, every now and again, I am wrong and it's usually that someone I thought was a friend, or had the potential to be a friend, was not. They were fake and I was fooled. That never feels good. In my optimistic view, I would love to think that there could exist a world where people would be real. I think most confident people want to be real but there seems to always be a little part of us, whether we like to admit it or not, that wants people to like us. I think that little part of us (in my opinion, controlled by the ego) can make us to stupid things sometimes. In my mind, the occasional stupid things can be forgiven and learned from, it's the conscious fake person that I have an issue with.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Media Overload
We usually hear of "information overload" (which is something that most college students experience on a regular basis) but I want to note the change that has taken place over the past ten years or so - media overload. Today we have so many options for media - radio, television, newspapers, magazines, audio books and thousands of internet options: blogs, twitter, facebook, you tube - everyone has a way to be heard and the noise is deafening. Technology has connected us across the globe and gives everyone a chance to say something. This should be a wonderful thing. In some cases it is - you can get information faster than ever before but in other cases, it seems dangerous.
My purposes here is not to delve into the potential evils of mass communication but to talk about a disturbing trend. In the rush to be the "first" to break the news, the news has become nothing but a soundbite, a 140-word snippet. The news no longer seems to have extensive research, thoughtful questioning or even unbiased presentation. It seems to be fed on rumors and opinions. Shows like 60 minutes are quickly become nostalgic for me. The days of fact finding and verification, relative topics and quality investigative journalism seem to be fading. Tabloids, paparazzi and morning show field reporters with gimmicks and jokes are taking the place of more serious news. People want to have "fame" and it doesn't seem to matter in what form.
When I was growing up, my parents always seemed to stress the importance of having class. It was easy to be the class clown or follow the heard, but class was something that took discipline and education. I used to fight it thinking that it was old fashioned and that today's society was more casual and therefore more free. Freedom of expression was important. Back then, the shocking performer was Madonna.
Now that I'm older, I cringe at seeing what has become the norm. The reporters sent to my events by the papers, blogs and other forms of media seem to be kids in jeans, old t-shirts, chewing gum, attached to their mobile devices and they want to be spoon fed the answers. The only occasional suit I'll see is worn by an older reporter for an on-air segment. The coverage is weak and they really have no interest in what they've chosen to do.
Have you ever watched Huell Howser? I used to laugh at the sound of his name. To him, everything was "AMAZING" in his southern drawl and that drove me crazy. Now, I'm captivated by his shows and its clear to me through his adventures that many people watch him. His "that's amazing" comment (which is sure to be on virtually every episode) is now heartwarming for me. Huell breaks down stories into the basics - asks a lot of questions, shows genuine interest and builds a positive relationship with those he meets. By the time he has left the area, you, as the viewer, know all about it. Perhaps it makes you even want to visit the place or purchase the product. He's not "selling" anything or inflicting his opinions on you - he's telling a story.
For the last three weeks, I've stopped watching the news, reading the paper or surfing the internet for news. I don't miss it. Many may gasp and say how horrible to be uninformed but that's just it - there really isn't a lot of real information out there. We're so programmed to what society views as right and wrong that we've stopped thinking if we agree with it. We're becoming lemmings who want to hear the news on reality TV and listen to politicians blame everyone but themselves. Politicians that just keep pointing out problems and never simple, actionable solutions. Want to be the lead in for the evening news? Cry, scream or do something outrageous - the news will be certain to use your outburst.
This brings me to the media as a whole. The media plays an important role in our society and I do believe in freedom of speech. That being said, I believe in the freedom of responsible speech. It's great that the media has so many options to communicate to the public but with that comes responsibility. Crap journalism is crap journalism whether its on television, radio, written or online. I don't care if you give me new news every 60 seconds on every format available to you. Quality....not quantity should be the mantra. The media has incredible power to stop a lot of the unethical things that are going on - unfortunately, most large media mediums now seemed to be owned by the same corporations that are committing this unethical behavior and therefore, continue to go unchecked. Perhaps it's too much to ask for but I believe that a lot of journalists discovered their passion for journalism to tell stories, uncover truths, highlight injustices and to help make us a better place to live. That is the media content that is missing.
Stepping off my soapbox now, I will bring it back to the topic of media overload. Whether it's news, gossip, opinions, videos, reality shows, books, blogs or broadcasts, we have a plethora of mediums to access media. With this incredible power to reach so many people, why are we filling it up with crap? For now I'll stick to watching Huell Howser on public television and listening to public radio - for some reason, those formats seems to be the last of the balanced and interesting media to me. Wait....they are also not owned by large corporations...coincidence? Perhaps.
My purposes here is not to delve into the potential evils of mass communication but to talk about a disturbing trend. In the rush to be the "first" to break the news, the news has become nothing but a soundbite, a 140-word snippet. The news no longer seems to have extensive research, thoughtful questioning or even unbiased presentation. It seems to be fed on rumors and opinions. Shows like 60 minutes are quickly become nostalgic for me. The days of fact finding and verification, relative topics and quality investigative journalism seem to be fading. Tabloids, paparazzi and morning show field reporters with gimmicks and jokes are taking the place of more serious news. People want to have "fame" and it doesn't seem to matter in what form.
When I was growing up, my parents always seemed to stress the importance of having class. It was easy to be the class clown or follow the heard, but class was something that took discipline and education. I used to fight it thinking that it was old fashioned and that today's society was more casual and therefore more free. Freedom of expression was important. Back then, the shocking performer was Madonna.
Now that I'm older, I cringe at seeing what has become the norm. The reporters sent to my events by the papers, blogs and other forms of media seem to be kids in jeans, old t-shirts, chewing gum, attached to their mobile devices and they want to be spoon fed the answers. The only occasional suit I'll see is worn by an older reporter for an on-air segment. The coverage is weak and they really have no interest in what they've chosen to do.
Have you ever watched Huell Howser? I used to laugh at the sound of his name. To him, everything was "AMAZING" in his southern drawl and that drove me crazy. Now, I'm captivated by his shows and its clear to me through his adventures that many people watch him. His "that's amazing" comment (which is sure to be on virtually every episode) is now heartwarming for me. Huell breaks down stories into the basics - asks a lot of questions, shows genuine interest and builds a positive relationship with those he meets. By the time he has left the area, you, as the viewer, know all about it. Perhaps it makes you even want to visit the place or purchase the product. He's not "selling" anything or inflicting his opinions on you - he's telling a story.
For the last three weeks, I've stopped watching the news, reading the paper or surfing the internet for news. I don't miss it. Many may gasp and say how horrible to be uninformed but that's just it - there really isn't a lot of real information out there. We're so programmed to what society views as right and wrong that we've stopped thinking if we agree with it. We're becoming lemmings who want to hear the news on reality TV and listen to politicians blame everyone but themselves. Politicians that just keep pointing out problems and never simple, actionable solutions. Want to be the lead in for the evening news? Cry, scream or do something outrageous - the news will be certain to use your outburst.
This brings me to the media as a whole. The media plays an important role in our society and I do believe in freedom of speech. That being said, I believe in the freedom of responsible speech. It's great that the media has so many options to communicate to the public but with that comes responsibility. Crap journalism is crap journalism whether its on television, radio, written or online. I don't care if you give me new news every 60 seconds on every format available to you. Quality....not quantity should be the mantra. The media has incredible power to stop a lot of the unethical things that are going on - unfortunately, most large media mediums now seemed to be owned by the same corporations that are committing this unethical behavior and therefore, continue to go unchecked. Perhaps it's too much to ask for but I believe that a lot of journalists discovered their passion for journalism to tell stories, uncover truths, highlight injustices and to help make us a better place to live. That is the media content that is missing.
Stepping off my soapbox now, I will bring it back to the topic of media overload. Whether it's news, gossip, opinions, videos, reality shows, books, blogs or broadcasts, we have a plethora of mediums to access media. With this incredible power to reach so many people, why are we filling it up with crap? For now I'll stick to watching Huell Howser on public television and listening to public radio - for some reason, those formats seems to be the last of the balanced and interesting media to me. Wait....they are also not owned by large corporations...coincidence? Perhaps.
Friday, April 22, 2011
It's Earth Day Earthlings!
Happy Earth Day! Wouldn't it be great if Earth Day was celebrated around the world? After all, a day in which we appreciate this "rock" spinning in space that supports our life would be wonderful - we take so much for granted. While I'm a huge fan of the Earth and efforts to be more responsible in its care, I do wonder if once again it is going to become another day holiday that businesses will use to their advantage as a reason for self publicity. Silly me, of course it is! But back to the star of today, the earth.
The Earth is such an amazing planet - it's fully of fire and ice, hardness and softness, gases and liquids, bounty and barren...basically the yin and yang. It shows that all of these things, no matter how different, have a place and are the true foundations of the planet.
I love nature and I've spent a lot of time outdoors and traveling. I've seen all seven continents, been to both the Arctic and Antarctic, I've camped in the Serengeti and learned how to track in Zimbabwe. I've experienced altitude sickness in Tibet, spent a week in a tent in the Gobi desert in Mongolia along side nomads, gone black water rafting in caves in New Zealand and snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef. I've seen the Terra Cotta Warriors in China, pyramids in Mexico, the Andes in Chile, the amazing architecture of Europe, the power of Victoria Falls, the expansiveness of the Grand Canyon and yearn to see so much more. I've experienced the kindness of strangers and seen first hand the brutality of man against man. I've seen incredible sunsets and have waited in the darkness for the sun to shoot its first rays of light. I've seen fierce weather and amazing clouds. I've experienced the snow of the Alps, the sun of the tropics and seen the sun never really set in the Arctics. All of these incredible experiences and sights are in my head and are the small puzzle pieces of my life.
We live in a world of beautiful diversity with incredible resilience. We've created some incredible architecture and ingenious gadgets (the ingredients of which come from the earth.) We can plant seeds and grow food. All of these beautiful and incredible things then contrast against the negatives. Rather than get weighed down but the negatives (because most of us know what they are), there is one negative that I do want to talk about - fracking.
For those who may not know, "fracking" is what they call hydraulic fracturing. According to wikipedia, Fracturing [or fracking] may be done by pumping in liquids at high pressure, using combustible gas mixtures alone or driving liquids, or using explosives to generate high-pressure high-speed gas flow." Fracking companies will not divulge the exact chemicals they are injecting into the rock, which, by the way, is where our ground water is. To read a more thorough (yet simplified) description of fracking, click here.
For anyone who might have watched the documentary Gasland, you might find yourself horrified. While stories always have two sides, my greatest fear is not the war over oil but the lack of clean water. According to the documentary, people living with this fracking sites nearby can turn on their sinks and set the water on fire. While I cannot do justice in describing the whole thing on one simple blog, I would encourage you to educate yourself of this issue and come to your own conclusions. In the meantime, I'm doing more research on this right now but contaminating our ground water should be the LAST THING ON EARTH that we would want to do yet it is going on in a frightening alarming rate. Yes, life without oil would be much different but life without water simply does not exist.
But back to Earth Day....before you blow it off as a bogus day for "green" companies to promote their product, large corporates to spout what they're doing to give back to the planet and celebrities to appear at a party in a hybrid vehicle, take the time to sit and just think about the Earth and your life on it. You can decide to recycle, contribute to a cause, fight for what you believe in or simply plant a tree but perhaps the simplest of all actions is to simply think about the Earth. If you can, find some time this year - whether it be an hour or a day and find a quiet place in nature. Sit on the ground or on the beach and listen to the wind, the birds, the water...whatever is around you. Put that thought in your head as a seed as see what, if anything, might grow from it. It's not a "hippie thing", your ancestors once did the same thing - no matter where you come from.
I wrote about some of my seeds above and it is because of those seeds that I'm passionate about preserving this planet. I'm hoping that with those experiences and a MBA, I can figure out a way for us to create a sustainable future. A tall order. I'm earth-focused but know the reality of business and their objectives. I know there is a way to find a compromise and I'm thrilled to see some companies honestly trying. After all, we have one planet so its in ALL of our best interests to take care of it.
Whatever your goal is to help support this Earth, I wish you success! Happy Earth Day Earthlings!
The Earth is such an amazing planet - it's fully of fire and ice, hardness and softness, gases and liquids, bounty and barren...basically the yin and yang. It shows that all of these things, no matter how different, have a place and are the true foundations of the planet.
I love nature and I've spent a lot of time outdoors and traveling. I've seen all seven continents, been to both the Arctic and Antarctic, I've camped in the Serengeti and learned how to track in Zimbabwe. I've experienced altitude sickness in Tibet, spent a week in a tent in the Gobi desert in Mongolia along side nomads, gone black water rafting in caves in New Zealand and snorkeled the Great Barrier Reef. I've seen the Terra Cotta Warriors in China, pyramids in Mexico, the Andes in Chile, the amazing architecture of Europe, the power of Victoria Falls, the expansiveness of the Grand Canyon and yearn to see so much more. I've experienced the kindness of strangers and seen first hand the brutality of man against man. I've seen incredible sunsets and have waited in the darkness for the sun to shoot its first rays of light. I've seen fierce weather and amazing clouds. I've experienced the snow of the Alps, the sun of the tropics and seen the sun never really set in the Arctics. All of these incredible experiences and sights are in my head and are the small puzzle pieces of my life.
We live in a world of beautiful diversity with incredible resilience. We've created some incredible architecture and ingenious gadgets (the ingredients of which come from the earth.) We can plant seeds and grow food. All of these beautiful and incredible things then contrast against the negatives. Rather than get weighed down but the negatives (because most of us know what they are), there is one negative that I do want to talk about - fracking.
For those who may not know, "fracking" is what they call hydraulic fracturing. According to wikipedia, Fracturing [or fracking] may be done by pumping in liquids at high pressure, using combustible gas mixtures alone or driving liquids, or using explosives to generate high-pressure high-speed gas flow." Fracking companies will not divulge the exact chemicals they are injecting into the rock, which, by the way, is where our ground water is. To read a more thorough (yet simplified) description of fracking, click here.
For anyone who might have watched the documentary Gasland, you might find yourself horrified. While stories always have two sides, my greatest fear is not the war over oil but the lack of clean water. According to the documentary, people living with this fracking sites nearby can turn on their sinks and set the water on fire. While I cannot do justice in describing the whole thing on one simple blog, I would encourage you to educate yourself of this issue and come to your own conclusions. In the meantime, I'm doing more research on this right now but contaminating our ground water should be the LAST THING ON EARTH that we would want to do yet it is going on in a frightening alarming rate. Yes, life without oil would be much different but life without water simply does not exist.
But back to Earth Day....before you blow it off as a bogus day for "green" companies to promote their product, large corporates to spout what they're doing to give back to the planet and celebrities to appear at a party in a hybrid vehicle, take the time to sit and just think about the Earth and your life on it. You can decide to recycle, contribute to a cause, fight for what you believe in or simply plant a tree but perhaps the simplest of all actions is to simply think about the Earth. If you can, find some time this year - whether it be an hour or a day and find a quiet place in nature. Sit on the ground or on the beach and listen to the wind, the birds, the water...whatever is around you. Put that thought in your head as a seed as see what, if anything, might grow from it. It's not a "hippie thing", your ancestors once did the same thing - no matter where you come from.
I wrote about some of my seeds above and it is because of those seeds that I'm passionate about preserving this planet. I'm hoping that with those experiences and a MBA, I can figure out a way for us to create a sustainable future. A tall order. I'm earth-focused but know the reality of business and their objectives. I know there is a way to find a compromise and I'm thrilled to see some companies honestly trying. After all, we have one planet so its in ALL of our best interests to take care of it.
Whatever your goal is to help support this Earth, I wish you success! Happy Earth Day Earthlings!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Renting a Home in Foreclosure
I have a close friend - let's call them "Sam" - that discovered that they were renting a home in foreclosure. While this is probably not surprising to many, it was disappointing for me. You see, I found Sam this home to rent - we looked at it together, met with the property management company - it's a FANTASTIC house in a small town. Sam moved from another state to rent this house and has been in the house for four months. This week it was discovered that is going to auction next month yet Sam has received no notice from the property management company, owners, title holder, auction company, city, state....nothing. Sam found the auction notice in the paper. Further research shows that although Sam has paid rent on time each month, the owners have not made a payment in over a year.
While I could go on about fairness, get angry, disappointed, mad - all of the emotions one can go through, I just find the situation yet another example of what's going the wrong way. Clearly the owners knew it was in foreclosure and knew it would be auctioned yet they rented it anyway and to protect themselves, did it through a property management company. They didn't care about the person who would rent it only to be kicked out at some point. I imagine it must be a HUGE disappointment to lose your house in a foreclosure but to spread the misery to an unexpecting person who signed a lease, paid the deposit and pays rent on time each month is cruel, misleading and wrong!
I know that bad things happen to good people and Sam did not deserve this at all. Sam is a good person with a heart of gold. It cost Sam thousands of dollars to move to another state to be in this house and there just isn't money to have to pack up and move all over again four months after moving in.
As a country we have such a powerful story of fleeing persecution for religious freedom (among other freedoms) and thousands of immigrants come to this country in search of the same thing. Yet here we are a few hundred years after establishment and we don't seem to be grateful for what we have. We are not kind to our fellow man and are knowingly screwing over our neighbor. Each morning when I wake up I try to focus on a positive thought but it seems lately that there are so many challenges to doing that simple task given all of the challenges we're facing.
They say that ignorance is bliss and in my days of ignoring the news and being absorbed in my own life, I definitely found it easier to cope. But as I get older that sort of denial that serious issues exist seems naive and frankly, dangerous. If we don't pay attention to the issues that are eating away at our foundation, they don't go away - they go unchecked and become dangerous. Ever have weeds in your yard? Pull the weeds when they're young and they're a lot easier to pull....wait until their roots have firmly established and it will take three times the effort and time to pull them out.
Back to the issue of renting a house in foreclosure to an unsuspecting renter - it's frustrating when all you can do is hope for the best and know that karma will take care of the rest. The time and energy it would take to try to find some legal ground or restitution in this case just isn't worth it. It would cost more money and time and won't change anything. Let's face it, this has been going on for years with nothing in place to stop it except some "for appearances only" legislation (which, if you read, sucks) that won't be put into effect until 2012 which in my opinion, is too late. We needed some penalty staring in like 2008! But like everything else lately, we wait until the cow is not only out of the barn but in the next county before we decide that perhaps we should have closed the barn door - and instead of spending the time to figure out how to fix it, our government just spends their time trying to pin the blame.
Maybe we're all in the same boat. This country is our home and our landlord is the government, who, let's face it, at times resembles the unethical landlords that Sam has. Perhaps we're all naively renting a home in foreclosure and we just haven't received the notice yet.
While I could go on about fairness, get angry, disappointed, mad - all of the emotions one can go through, I just find the situation yet another example of what's going the wrong way. Clearly the owners knew it was in foreclosure and knew it would be auctioned yet they rented it anyway and to protect themselves, did it through a property management company. They didn't care about the person who would rent it only to be kicked out at some point. I imagine it must be a HUGE disappointment to lose your house in a foreclosure but to spread the misery to an unexpecting person who signed a lease, paid the deposit and pays rent on time each month is cruel, misleading and wrong!
I know that bad things happen to good people and Sam did not deserve this at all. Sam is a good person with a heart of gold. It cost Sam thousands of dollars to move to another state to be in this house and there just isn't money to have to pack up and move all over again four months after moving in.
As a country we have such a powerful story of fleeing persecution for religious freedom (among other freedoms) and thousands of immigrants come to this country in search of the same thing. Yet here we are a few hundred years after establishment and we don't seem to be grateful for what we have. We are not kind to our fellow man and are knowingly screwing over our neighbor. Each morning when I wake up I try to focus on a positive thought but it seems lately that there are so many challenges to doing that simple task given all of the challenges we're facing.
They say that ignorance is bliss and in my days of ignoring the news and being absorbed in my own life, I definitely found it easier to cope. But as I get older that sort of denial that serious issues exist seems naive and frankly, dangerous. If we don't pay attention to the issues that are eating away at our foundation, they don't go away - they go unchecked and become dangerous. Ever have weeds in your yard? Pull the weeds when they're young and they're a lot easier to pull....wait until their roots have firmly established and it will take three times the effort and time to pull them out.
Back to the issue of renting a house in foreclosure to an unsuspecting renter - it's frustrating when all you can do is hope for the best and know that karma will take care of the rest. The time and energy it would take to try to find some legal ground or restitution in this case just isn't worth it. It would cost more money and time and won't change anything. Let's face it, this has been going on for years with nothing in place to stop it except some "for appearances only" legislation (which, if you read, sucks) that won't be put into effect until 2012 which in my opinion, is too late. We needed some penalty staring in like 2008! But like everything else lately, we wait until the cow is not only out of the barn but in the next county before we decide that perhaps we should have closed the barn door - and instead of spending the time to figure out how to fix it, our government just spends their time trying to pin the blame.
Maybe we're all in the same boat. This country is our home and our landlord is the government, who, let's face it, at times resembles the unethical landlords that Sam has. Perhaps we're all naively renting a home in foreclosure and we just haven't received the notice yet.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Those who do not know their history are bound to repeat it
Lately I've been thinking a lot about that statement. In school we are taught history so that we can understand how the world came to be how it is - or at least that is part of the thought behind teaching history. However, as more time passes, it seems that the teaching of history becomes more abridged - after all, there are only so many hours in a school day that can be devoted to a single subject.
The other night I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher and he touched on something that has been rolling around in my head lately and that is the thought of the late "empires." According to wikipedia, an empire can be defined in two ways. One being that "politically, an empire is a geographically extensive group of states and peoples (ethnic groups) united and ruled either by a monarch (emperor, empress) or an oligarchy," (which I deem as the more traditional definition) and the other states that "etymologically, the political usage of empire denotes a strong, centrally-controlled nation-state, but in the looser vernacular usage, it can denote a large-scale business enterprise (i.e. a transnational corporation) and a political organisation of either national-, regional- or city scale, controlled either by a person (a political boss) or a group authority (political bosses)." The one common thing about all empires you study in history is eventually, they fall. This concerns me.
According to information I've read, we have military bases in about 63 countries and "that the US operates and/or controls between 700 and 800 military bases Worldwide."[1] Given today's loose use of words, that may or may not mean that we have that many but that we have at least one person assisting or controlling bases for another country. To be fair though, one has to consider how many bases other countries have like the British, French, German and Italian. Though the number, location and purpose of bases is obviously a hard one to pinpoint given the nature of what they do, initial research lead me to the conclusion (and many sites had the same opinion) that the US has the most bases worldwide. So why do I care?
The truth is, while the number of bases is shocking, their existence is not necessarily what I have a problem with. I can't begin to comprehend what I deem to be the realities that a country's leadership has to deal with and I acknowledge that they can't always tell us every little detail because it would take so much back end information to get us up to speed that there just isn't time to do it all. Let's face it, as a country, we tend to like our information in 140 word increments and education has not been a priority. That being said, if we are going to occupy a country, it is our leaderships responsibility to outline clear and direct reasons and objectives for us to do so. Bringing this all back to my slowly developing point though, at what point are we stepping back and looking at the bigger picture?
I once read somewhere that "what we perceive, we believe" and the one powerful lesson I've learned in my 16 years in corporate life is the power of perception. The government hires PR strategists and speech writers to help communicate with the public and in effect, shape public perception. Historically, that task seemed easier to do or perhaps there were just more talented people at the helm. Now when I turn on the television and flip through the hundreds of channels available to us, read the paper, browse the Internet, all I hear is noise. I know that they're saying something but honestly to me they look like old white haired men with red faces and raised blood pressure yelling about something and blaming the other party. But back to my point about perception. Right now we are in several wars and what is needed in wars...military bases. The latest "assist" or whatever we're calling our involvement in Libya these days is suspect. Yes, I support efforts to protect human rights but let's call this what it is - another war about oil. The fact that countries are using human rights as a cover for going in is about as useless as a sock in a snowstorm. Another brewing "conflict", another need for more military and another drain on an already struggling economy. I don't know about anyone else, but my perception of our involvement isn't because human rights is our number one concern - if that was so, we would have intervened in the horrific genocide that was going on in Africa - it's because we have oil on the brain. It's like the first words you hear from the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz as he quietly squeaks "oil.....oil."
If I look back to when this all started on the downward slope, I could choose to pinpoint 9/11. Obviously that changed our countries history forever. I won't pretend to be an expert on military strategies but I do have to quietly ponder this question. Our "enemy", Al Qadea, did a horrific thing in flying our airplanes into the World Trade Center. All emotions and political views aside, this group was a small group (compared to our world military groups) that has continued to wreak havoc. How do you bring down Empires? Not by launching nuclear weapons but by chipping away at their resources, running them ragged and keeping it simple. In turn, leaders of the country run around spending money trying to fight the enemy and protect whatever they believe needs protecting while the welfare of their own people start to suffer. Those people, seeing a leadership that does not take care of them but instead spends all of their hard earned money fighting for some distant reason that seems irrelevant to them then turn against their own leadership thus creating a disease from within. Now you have civil war or unrest on top of worldwide occupation - a country simply cannot withstand this. This is not rocket science.
If we are a world economy these days - which we are - why are we not working together in a more cohesive unit with the UN? Isn't this one of the reasons to create a UN organization? When a small group of radical extremists (or whatever we're calling them today) is crossing borders and affecting multiple countries, shouldn't we strategically work together to deal with this issue? Or, in a situation like this, does a perception arise - a perception that says we only care about controlling one thing - oil.
Perhaps I'm just not seeing the bigger picture, after all, this posting is just a venting for my frustration. I'm frustrated that our government is mirroring our selfish corporations that care only about profits and expansion rather than producing quality goods at a reasonable cost to provide them with reasonable profits. There is so much noise coming from our government between the Democrats and Republicans fighting, health care chaos, bailouts with no repercussions, budget cuts, military action and guess what, we're going to be going through another election soon so the noise and the finger pointing are going to get louder and more obnoxious. Does anyone think that we are still listening or that we believe anyone?! I'd like to hear one honest voice whispering a consistent message - that is the voice I would listen to. Show me someone with integrity and honesty that can communicate well....PLEASE!
So are we bound to repeat what history has taught us? The stage may be different but the plot is the same. I can't help but wonder what our founding fathers would say about us if they were brought back to life to live here for even just a month...or are they already rolling over in their graves? Am I alone in wondering this? Am I so uninformed that I'm wasting my energy on thinking about this or are we moving so fast that we're not being thoughfully strategic? There is so much noise out there that rather than trying to make sense of it, are we all just saying "I give up" and letting our politicians battle it out as we eat our take out and watch reruns of "Two and a Half Men" because afterall, if it's not affecting me, why should I care what is happening in some foriegn country? Regarless of the answers, it's disheartening to feel this way. I'd like to think that we have learned from history but right now it seems like we have not.
The other night I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher and he touched on something that has been rolling around in my head lately and that is the thought of the late "empires." According to wikipedia, an empire can be defined in two ways. One being that "politically, an empire is a geographically extensive group of states and peoples (ethnic groups) united and ruled either by a monarch (emperor, empress) or an oligarchy," (which I deem as the more traditional definition) and the other states that "etymologically, the political usage of empire denotes a strong, centrally-controlled nation-state, but in the looser vernacular usage, it can denote a large-scale business enterprise (i.e. a transnational corporation) and a political organisation of either national-, regional- or city scale, controlled either by a person (a political boss) or a group authority (political bosses)." The one common thing about all empires you study in history is eventually, they fall. This concerns me.
According to information I've read, we have military bases in about 63 countries and "that the US operates and/or controls between 700 and 800 military bases Worldwide."[1] Given today's loose use of words, that may or may not mean that we have that many but that we have at least one person assisting or controlling bases for another country. To be fair though, one has to consider how many bases other countries have like the British, French, German and Italian. Though the number, location and purpose of bases is obviously a hard one to pinpoint given the nature of what they do, initial research lead me to the conclusion (and many sites had the same opinion) that the US has the most bases worldwide. So why do I care?
The truth is, while the number of bases is shocking, their existence is not necessarily what I have a problem with. I can't begin to comprehend what I deem to be the realities that a country's leadership has to deal with and I acknowledge that they can't always tell us every little detail because it would take so much back end information to get us up to speed that there just isn't time to do it all. Let's face it, as a country, we tend to like our information in 140 word increments and education has not been a priority. That being said, if we are going to occupy a country, it is our leaderships responsibility to outline clear and direct reasons and objectives for us to do so. Bringing this all back to my slowly developing point though, at what point are we stepping back and looking at the bigger picture?
I once read somewhere that "what we perceive, we believe" and the one powerful lesson I've learned in my 16 years in corporate life is the power of perception. The government hires PR strategists and speech writers to help communicate with the public and in effect, shape public perception. Historically, that task seemed easier to do or perhaps there were just more talented people at the helm. Now when I turn on the television and flip through the hundreds of channels available to us, read the paper, browse the Internet, all I hear is noise. I know that they're saying something but honestly to me they look like old white haired men with red faces and raised blood pressure yelling about something and blaming the other party. But back to my point about perception. Right now we are in several wars and what is needed in wars...military bases. The latest "assist" or whatever we're calling our involvement in Libya these days is suspect. Yes, I support efforts to protect human rights but let's call this what it is - another war about oil. The fact that countries are using human rights as a cover for going in is about as useless as a sock in a snowstorm. Another brewing "conflict", another need for more military and another drain on an already struggling economy. I don't know about anyone else, but my perception of our involvement isn't because human rights is our number one concern - if that was so, we would have intervened in the horrific genocide that was going on in Africa - it's because we have oil on the brain. It's like the first words you hear from the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz as he quietly squeaks "oil.....oil."
If I look back to when this all started on the downward slope, I could choose to pinpoint 9/11. Obviously that changed our countries history forever. I won't pretend to be an expert on military strategies but I do have to quietly ponder this question. Our "enemy", Al Qadea, did a horrific thing in flying our airplanes into the World Trade Center. All emotions and political views aside, this group was a small group (compared to our world military groups) that has continued to wreak havoc. How do you bring down Empires? Not by launching nuclear weapons but by chipping away at their resources, running them ragged and keeping it simple. In turn, leaders of the country run around spending money trying to fight the enemy and protect whatever they believe needs protecting while the welfare of their own people start to suffer. Those people, seeing a leadership that does not take care of them but instead spends all of their hard earned money fighting for some distant reason that seems irrelevant to them then turn against their own leadership thus creating a disease from within. Now you have civil war or unrest on top of worldwide occupation - a country simply cannot withstand this. This is not rocket science.
If we are a world economy these days - which we are - why are we not working together in a more cohesive unit with the UN? Isn't this one of the reasons to create a UN organization? When a small group of radical extremists (or whatever we're calling them today) is crossing borders and affecting multiple countries, shouldn't we strategically work together to deal with this issue? Or, in a situation like this, does a perception arise - a perception that says we only care about controlling one thing - oil.
Perhaps I'm just not seeing the bigger picture, after all, this posting is just a venting for my frustration. I'm frustrated that our government is mirroring our selfish corporations that care only about profits and expansion rather than producing quality goods at a reasonable cost to provide them with reasonable profits. There is so much noise coming from our government between the Democrats and Republicans fighting, health care chaos, bailouts with no repercussions, budget cuts, military action and guess what, we're going to be going through another election soon so the noise and the finger pointing are going to get louder and more obnoxious. Does anyone think that we are still listening or that we believe anyone?! I'd like to hear one honest voice whispering a consistent message - that is the voice I would listen to. Show me someone with integrity and honesty that can communicate well....PLEASE!
So are we bound to repeat what history has taught us? The stage may be different but the plot is the same. I can't help but wonder what our founding fathers would say about us if they were brought back to life to live here for even just a month...or are they already rolling over in their graves? Am I alone in wondering this? Am I so uninformed that I'm wasting my energy on thinking about this or are we moving so fast that we're not being thoughfully strategic? There is so much noise out there that rather than trying to make sense of it, are we all just saying "I give up" and letting our politicians battle it out as we eat our take out and watch reruns of "Two and a Half Men" because afterall, if it's not affecting me, why should I care what is happening in some foriegn country? Regarless of the answers, it's disheartening to feel this way. I'd like to think that we have learned from history but right now it seems like we have not.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Flying the Friendly Skies
For those who have been following the news lately, two scary things have been reported in regards to flying. The first is the Southwest incident where the top of the plane pealed off due to excessive use of the plane and poor maintenance practices and the second is the air traffic controllers that are falling asleep on the job causing many planes to have to land themselves.
Both of these issues, while frightening on their own, are just another example of what seems to be a trend in our country. The trend...cutting costs as much as possible to turn a bigger profit. Don't get me wrong, I understand the business model and I know that a business needs to be profitable to stay in business. HOWEVER (and I capitalize for emphasis), there is a fine line between running a profitable business and being negligent in running a business. So who draws the line and monitors it?
We have a lot of organizations with initials - the FAA, FBI, CIA, NSA, etc. As a citizen of this country, I have always believed that these entities (which our tax dollars pay for) were there to protect us. As I've gotten older though, I wonder about those entities. Each entity - be it a business, an organization or a governmental body - relies on the people that work for it. This assumes that the people have integrity, a work ethic, some sort of morals and even perhaps some self-pride in what they do. Call me optimistic, but this is what I believe. So what happens when these people do not do their jobs? What happens when they become part of the problem and not part of the solution?
Going back to the news about the problems with the airline industry - the two current problems (the planes falling apart and the air traffic controllers falling asleep on the job) are in the news but given the fact that so many problems are existing in our country, I'm wondering if we as a country are starting to tune out these negative reports. Sure we get outraged when we hear it but then we change the channel or do something else and forget about it. Unless there is some horrific tragedy where two planes collide midair because one plane is trying to do an emergency landing due to the fact it's literally falling apart in midair and collides with another plane who is trying to land itself because there is no air traffic controller responding, it seems that there is no urge for change. Only in the face of tragedy to we demand change (and, of course, try to figure out who's to blame.)
One may argue that as soon as Southwest had the plane fall apart, that there was an investigation and some 70 or so planes were grounded until they cleared a safety inspection but that's only trying to band aid a larger problem. If you've watched the PBS documentary called "Flying Cheap," you'll note that this is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the safety violations that really exist. I won't list the seriousness of the "shortcuts" that are going on in airline maintenance because I don't have enough time but it amazes me that nothing is being done about it.
Regarding the issue of the air traffic controllers falling asleep - after the first report I didn't hear of any repercussions or changes - I only heard of more reports of this happening. Hello??? What is it going to take to get our attention? If we're playing the "blame game", is it the air traffic controller who deserves the blame for falling asleep and therefore should be fired or does the blame lie in the fact that the airline industry is trying to cut costs so they're only scheduling one controller rather than two and making that one controller work longer hours? Right now there seem to be more questions than answers and I just don't see anyone stepping in and taking this seriously. Perhaps they are and they're just not getting the airtime that say some of our ridiculous politicians are getting as they try to scream louder than the other hot head from the other party. With all the noise in media today - are we just not listening anymore?
Tying this all back to flying the friendly skies...the skies are no longer friendly. Sure, you can still get a free soda, but that is about all that is left over from the "friendly" days. Now you have to fight to find a seat on a plane that is serviced in another country which does not have our regulations and has cheaper labor, on an airline name which you trust although has a plane that has their name on it but technically is outsourced to another company to fly therefore avoiding liability should something go wrong, and make your way to a cramped seat which has not been cleaned between flights and is flown by a 23 year old that makes $14,000 a year and is exhausted because his schedule is ridiculous and your flight attendant will try to smile politely at you and offer you a complimentary beverage and remind you that if you are hungry, you can purchase a snack but they can't accept cash because they are a cashless flight but they'll be more than happy to take a credit card so that if you forget to pay your credit card bill on time, that $6.00 can of 20 pringles will end up costing you closer to $10.00 since your credit card company just raised your interest rate to 28%...but hey, you did get those frequent flyer miles that you can redeem for a free flight to an undesirable location on any Tuesday or Wednesday in the dead of winter (but first you'll need to speak to a representative in India named "Brittani" who will inform you that there will be a $15.00 processing fee for talking to a live person.) This, of course, assumes that your plane stays together and that the air traffic controller stays awake long enough to help your young pilot land the plane. Welcome to the "friendly skies."
Both of these issues, while frightening on their own, are just another example of what seems to be a trend in our country. The trend...cutting costs as much as possible to turn a bigger profit. Don't get me wrong, I understand the business model and I know that a business needs to be profitable to stay in business. HOWEVER (and I capitalize for emphasis), there is a fine line between running a profitable business and being negligent in running a business. So who draws the line and monitors it?
We have a lot of organizations with initials - the FAA, FBI, CIA, NSA, etc. As a citizen of this country, I have always believed that these entities (which our tax dollars pay for) were there to protect us. As I've gotten older though, I wonder about those entities. Each entity - be it a business, an organization or a governmental body - relies on the people that work for it. This assumes that the people have integrity, a work ethic, some sort of morals and even perhaps some self-pride in what they do. Call me optimistic, but this is what I believe. So what happens when these people do not do their jobs? What happens when they become part of the problem and not part of the solution?
Going back to the news about the problems with the airline industry - the two current problems (the planes falling apart and the air traffic controllers falling asleep on the job) are in the news but given the fact that so many problems are existing in our country, I'm wondering if we as a country are starting to tune out these negative reports. Sure we get outraged when we hear it but then we change the channel or do something else and forget about it. Unless there is some horrific tragedy where two planes collide midair because one plane is trying to do an emergency landing due to the fact it's literally falling apart in midair and collides with another plane who is trying to land itself because there is no air traffic controller responding, it seems that there is no urge for change. Only in the face of tragedy to we demand change (and, of course, try to figure out who's to blame.)
One may argue that as soon as Southwest had the plane fall apart, that there was an investigation and some 70 or so planes were grounded until they cleared a safety inspection but that's only trying to band aid a larger problem. If you've watched the PBS documentary called "Flying Cheap," you'll note that this is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the safety violations that really exist. I won't list the seriousness of the "shortcuts" that are going on in airline maintenance because I don't have enough time but it amazes me that nothing is being done about it.
Regarding the issue of the air traffic controllers falling asleep - after the first report I didn't hear of any repercussions or changes - I only heard of more reports of this happening. Hello??? What is it going to take to get our attention? If we're playing the "blame game", is it the air traffic controller who deserves the blame for falling asleep and therefore should be fired or does the blame lie in the fact that the airline industry is trying to cut costs so they're only scheduling one controller rather than two and making that one controller work longer hours? Right now there seem to be more questions than answers and I just don't see anyone stepping in and taking this seriously. Perhaps they are and they're just not getting the airtime that say some of our ridiculous politicians are getting as they try to scream louder than the other hot head from the other party. With all the noise in media today - are we just not listening anymore?
Tying this all back to flying the friendly skies...the skies are no longer friendly. Sure, you can still get a free soda, but that is about all that is left over from the "friendly" days. Now you have to fight to find a seat on a plane that is serviced in another country which does not have our regulations and has cheaper labor, on an airline name which you trust although has a plane that has their name on it but technically is outsourced to another company to fly therefore avoiding liability should something go wrong, and make your way to a cramped seat which has not been cleaned between flights and is flown by a 23 year old that makes $14,000 a year and is exhausted because his schedule is ridiculous and your flight attendant will try to smile politely at you and offer you a complimentary beverage and remind you that if you are hungry, you can purchase a snack but they can't accept cash because they are a cashless flight but they'll be more than happy to take a credit card so that if you forget to pay your credit card bill on time, that $6.00 can of 20 pringles will end up costing you closer to $10.00 since your credit card company just raised your interest rate to 28%...but hey, you did get those frequent flyer miles that you can redeem for a free flight to an undesirable location on any Tuesday or Wednesday in the dead of winter (but first you'll need to speak to a representative in India named "Brittani" who will inform you that there will be a $15.00 processing fee for talking to a live person.) This, of course, assumes that your plane stays together and that the air traffic controller stays awake long enough to help your young pilot land the plane. Welcome to the "friendly skies."
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Can you spare some change?
Tonight I ran out to pick something up for dinner because I just wasn't in the mood to cook nor did I have anything that sounded good at the house. I have to say that I'm always thankful to be at a point in life that despite the struggling economy and the fact that I'm currently out of work, I still am able to pay my bills and have the luxury of running out to get something to eat. Granted, I've been fiscally responsible and have planned for a "rainy day", but I've also been lucky to have been brought up in a family that taught me the value of doing such a thing at an early age.
On my way out of the place I picked up dinner was a man standing by the parking lot. As I walked by he practically whispered "can you spare some change?" He was a clean man, perhaps just down on his luck. I said very quietly as I was reaching for my keys - "just a minute". I went to the truck, put my food in and looked at the change I had received for paying for dinner - it was $7.00. I look at it for a second, grabbed the $5.00 bill, went back over to him and he was sitting on the ground looking at the ground. I held out the $5.00 and said "here you go." He looked up at me a little slowly and then seeing the $5.00 bill, his eyes lit up and he smiled. He said "thank you SO much" and it felt so genuine that for a moment I wanted to cry. I said "your welcome" and turned back to walk to my truck. As I walked away he said "have a good night" and when I turned around to say thanks he was still smiling the huge smile at me.
I don't tell this story to pat myself on the back but to share something that really bothers me. I see people asking for money all the time. A day doesn't go by that I don't pass a person on a corner with a sign up. My somewhat internal rule is if the person asks me directly, I will give them money...I simply can't imagine a world where there would be no options but to walk up to strangers and ask for money for food - that feeling makes me so incredibly sad.
So my challenge is this...how can you tell who really needs help and who really just doesn't want to work, or worse, has an addiction to something that drains their health and wealth? I know that the question itself can seem callous but as I've seen it so much, I always find myself wondering how you can know. The truth is, I'd love to help every person I can because as I said, I just can't imagine what a person must go through to do that. I think of the thousands and thousands of immigrants that came to this country to make a better life for themselves only to find that their future generations are struggling. I guess the answer to my question about "how can you know" is that you can't. There is no magic formula.
I don't know if I'm just getting older or I'm just paying attention but sometimes these thoughts are overwhelming. Granted, I live in one of the largest cities in the United States and with that comes these types of daily challenges but sometimes what I'd really like to do is buy them a meal, sit down with them and understand their story.
When I was in grad school, one of the classes required that you worked in a soup kitchen or one of those types of organizations. My group went down to Long Beach to work in a homeless shelter. At least in this shelter, there was food and a place for them to sleep but talking to people who "lived" and worked there, they had incredible stories. Stories of being in jail, the things they had done and what led them to where they were now. I remember being blown away by these stories. At the end of our time there, the organizer of the shelter talked to us and told us the truth about some of the folks we had talked to. The "truth" was a lot different that the stories the people had told me.
Now I know that everyone has their own version of their life story - sometimes we are honest with ourselves and sometimes we are not. I know that there is psychological damage, mental illness and about a thousand other things that people can suffer from. But learning the "truth" about the people I had met in the shelter just added to my confusion about how do you know who really needs help? And can you ever really "help" someone in a situation like that?
I guess, in the end, anyone who asks for it needs it but I (somewhat selfishly) want to know that the money I am giving them is going to feed them and/or their family, not feed an addiction. I don't want to enable, I want to help. Given that, perhaps I'm the one that needs to change...perhaps I need to not worry about what people do with the money I am giving them to try to help...
On my way out of the place I picked up dinner was a man standing by the parking lot. As I walked by he practically whispered "can you spare some change?" He was a clean man, perhaps just down on his luck. I said very quietly as I was reaching for my keys - "just a minute". I went to the truck, put my food in and looked at the change I had received for paying for dinner - it was $7.00. I look at it for a second, grabbed the $5.00 bill, went back over to him and he was sitting on the ground looking at the ground. I held out the $5.00 and said "here you go." He looked up at me a little slowly and then seeing the $5.00 bill, his eyes lit up and he smiled. He said "thank you SO much" and it felt so genuine that for a moment I wanted to cry. I said "your welcome" and turned back to walk to my truck. As I walked away he said "have a good night" and when I turned around to say thanks he was still smiling the huge smile at me.
I don't tell this story to pat myself on the back but to share something that really bothers me. I see people asking for money all the time. A day doesn't go by that I don't pass a person on a corner with a sign up. My somewhat internal rule is if the person asks me directly, I will give them money...I simply can't imagine a world where there would be no options but to walk up to strangers and ask for money for food - that feeling makes me so incredibly sad.
So my challenge is this...how can you tell who really needs help and who really just doesn't want to work, or worse, has an addiction to something that drains their health and wealth? I know that the question itself can seem callous but as I've seen it so much, I always find myself wondering how you can know. The truth is, I'd love to help every person I can because as I said, I just can't imagine what a person must go through to do that. I think of the thousands and thousands of immigrants that came to this country to make a better life for themselves only to find that their future generations are struggling. I guess the answer to my question about "how can you know" is that you can't. There is no magic formula.
I don't know if I'm just getting older or I'm just paying attention but sometimes these thoughts are overwhelming. Granted, I live in one of the largest cities in the United States and with that comes these types of daily challenges but sometimes what I'd really like to do is buy them a meal, sit down with them and understand their story.
When I was in grad school, one of the classes required that you worked in a soup kitchen or one of those types of organizations. My group went down to Long Beach to work in a homeless shelter. At least in this shelter, there was food and a place for them to sleep but talking to people who "lived" and worked there, they had incredible stories. Stories of being in jail, the things they had done and what led them to where they were now. I remember being blown away by these stories. At the end of our time there, the organizer of the shelter talked to us and told us the truth about some of the folks we had talked to. The "truth" was a lot different that the stories the people had told me.
Now I know that everyone has their own version of their life story - sometimes we are honest with ourselves and sometimes we are not. I know that there is psychological damage, mental illness and about a thousand other things that people can suffer from. But learning the "truth" about the people I had met in the shelter just added to my confusion about how do you know who really needs help? And can you ever really "help" someone in a situation like that?
I guess, in the end, anyone who asks for it needs it but I (somewhat selfishly) want to know that the money I am giving them is going to feed them and/or their family, not feed an addiction. I don't want to enable, I want to help. Given that, perhaps I'm the one that needs to change...perhaps I need to not worry about what people do with the money I am giving them to try to help...
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